(omg, a post that isn’t about hair or computers! lol… and I am still working on the book post, I’m almost finished with the pictures and then I can post)

So, the other night I was watching TV (meaning staying up until 2 in the morning because I become nocturnal during the summer :3) and was just looking at all the crap that was on TV. I saw that this show called “The Secret Lives of Women” was on WE (WE is one of the free preview channels we are getting this month). I had seen commercials for this show before, and I thought “hey, why not watch this”. I actually really had wanted to see this show for awhile, because the commercials were so damn cool- where the woman looks all like a woman “should” and then she turns around and has all these kickass tattoos. Plus, the subtext for the show was “Don’t judge a woman by her cover”. It just seemed cool. So, I put it on. 

And to my surprise, the title of this episode is called “Size Matters: Tall, Small, Extra Large “. I was like “sweet, some fat aceptance at 1 in the morning!”. So I was all pumped to watch the episode.

And, lo and behold, by the end of the episode, I was not pumped.

The fat girls shown were the last of the three women to have their air time, so I watched through the other two women, and I was interested in their stories too. But once I watched the “extra-large” women, I was just disappointed. Maybe that’s the wrong word. I felt more torn over the whole thing. Firstly, the women were presented as fat, not because of genetics, but because it was their fault. The first two women were not blamed for being small or tall. They just were, and their focus was on how they dealt with it. But when the extra large women were on, they couldn’t just be fat. They were fat because they loved to eat or some other fat stereotype. (atleast the way the show made it seem)

And I am SOOO sick of being saying “I want to lose weight for my health”. I heard that a few times during the episode. They showed them saying things like “I want to watch what I eat”, “I want to lose weight for me health”, etc. Why did any of that have to be brought up? They didn’t ask the tall girl what she does for her health. Look, people should try and be healthy. I’m not saying “don’t be healthy”. But it seems like another example of how a fat girl is only acceptable if she is trying to change, i.e. lose weight.

On the flip side, I thought what these women are doing is great. I remember a little while ago there was some posts on the fatosphere about a club for plus size women. I don’t know if this club these women started, named Club Bounce, was that club or not. I do think they really do want to help fat women feel better about themselves. From watching the show I could tell that. It was also nice to see fat women being the way fat women should be- out enjoying life and such. The one scene they show them at a massage type place, and that just resonated with me because my dad bought my mom certificates to go to get a massage, but she never went because she isn’t happy with her body.

OMG that one woman’s mother… I would kill myself if my mom thought about food that way.. Or said crap like that to me or thought about me that way… jeez.. I would never be able to stand her. I hate to insult someone’s mother who I don’t even know, but.. ugh..

I dunno. I watched the show maybe a week ago, so the episode is not as fresh in my head as I would like it to be for making this post, but I have been thinking about it for awhile.

This was the tidbit about the episode from the site linked above:

Lisa Marie was the “fat girl” growing up. She struggled with her weight, loathed her body, and watched her self-esteem plummet with each pound she put on. Although she had the support and love of her family, she felt that society turned their back on overweight people. Then she found a BBW website! BBW stands for Big Beautiful Women and BBW’s all over the world are making their presence known online and in person. When Lisa Marie found a BBW chat room in her area, her whole world changed

I really wanted to like this episode, but I found it hard too. It just seemed as though the fat girls segment was handled differently, and I didn’t like that. Maybe I am way off the mark with this, but that’s how I felt.

The episode is being shown again on Tuesday, June 24 at 11pm… Maybe I’ll watch it again and see how I feel about it. Or if anyone else wants to watch it and say how they feel about it. I hadn’t really seen any posts about this on the fatosphere, so I don’t know anyone else’s reaction. I do find the show interesting atleast.

After surfing on the show’s site for awhile I came across a page for blogs of people who were on the show, and they had both of the “extra-large” women on it. Soo I went ahead and read them.

From Cher’s Blog:

I also take myself out to lunch each week and have sushi which my favorite! Sometimes I go with friends but mostly I just go by myself. I have learned that enjoying “self “ is important. I also love shopping, getting my nails and hair done, and getting a full body massage – the icing on the cake. Oh, and yes, I love cake too!

…I am not the so-called average body type. All my life I have been overweight and I am now using my physical difference as a form of empowerment and as a tool to help others. I try to show the world that size is just a number. It is what’s inside that counts and matters. Be the person you are and shine.

…My family is a different story. My parents bribed me to lose weight. They were constantly telling me not to eat things and seemed a bit embarrassed by my weight, especially my mom. My parents monitored my food, we never had sweets in the house and I love them for that. For the most part they were great parents, full of love and support… Now, after all this time, my mom has finally accepted me for who I am, but I know she still wants me to lose weight for health reasons.

…I live my life striving to be a good person, I care about the feelings of others and when I see other people happy and successful, it is wonderful. I wish the world would stop being so judgmental. People should focus on their own lives and be the best that they can be. It can start a chain reaction – one person at a time, spreading the happiness of self. I can only hope the world can feel the love that there is to share

From Lisa Marie’s Blog:

 have been an “extra large” woman for most of my life. I was not OK with that for 30 years of my 39 years of life. I feel very sad that I wasted so much time not liking myself. I feel differently now. I embrace my size no matter what that number might be. It’s been a long journey and I know there is a lot more to learn, but I am so happy with who I have become because of my struggles in life – weight related or not.

…I know there are people who look down on me because of my size, but that is their problem, not mine.

…When I was asked to do this show on being a plus-size woman and to talk about what my life has been like, at first I did not want to do it. I am a very private person, even though I have a public image in the “plus-size community”. Although I own a night club (Club Bounce) that caters to plus-size people, I still do keep a very private life and keep my emotions, family and close friends to myself. But as I thought about it, I knew it was important to do this – not for myself but for the hundreds of thousands of plus-size people out there who do not feel good about themselves because of their size. They may feel like second class citizens, not good enough to have friends or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or even feel they are not good enough to be out in public. It’s for those people that I did this show. We filmed for about 3 days and I have no idea what will be on air or not, I hope that the show is positive and that it will help the world be more accepting of people of all shapes and sizes.

…My hope is that I will touch the lives of people who are large, plus-size, BBW and BHM. It’s OK to be who you are – you’re a wonderful person deserving of love no matter what size you are. There is a life out there to live! Live it! Be happy! If you want to try to lose weight that’s ok too! But DO NOT stop living your life in the meantime

So after reading these blogs, I get that whole torn feeling again. Because I totally agree with what these women are saying. I think what they are trying to do is great. But the whole “lose weight for your health” things needs to just die. Look, if you are eating what your body wants you to eat, and doing activities that make you feel great, moving and using your body- that’s healthy to me. Just being fat doesn’t negate that.

So, again, I feel torn on this episode and the way things were presented. I’m not sure what else to say…