Sometimes I can’t stand my family. 

I just woke up about 5 minutes, and in those 5 minutes all the things I get pissed at them for happened. Madonna’s music video was on, and my dad says “Who’s that skanky ho?” (which, I am assuming he thinks he is funny or something) and when the video was over he said something along the lines of “That was awful- some old broad who thinks she is hot”. Then a commercial for Save the Music Comes on, and they show Aretha Franklin. My sisters reaction? “Eww”, which, my 8 year old cousin being in the room repeats her. 

Ugh.

I’m not the greatest Madonna fan or anything- I remember when my mom would play her CDs/tapes when I was younger and I really liked them. I don’t mind her new stuff, but I would say I preferred the older tunes. But even so, she’s doing her thing! What’s wrong with that? Are people supposed to feel like they need a rocking chair after 40? And don’t get my started on him calling her a “skanky ho”. Ugh. It just leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. It was just wrong. I thought she looked damn good in that video. I think it’s great that she is still doing what she wants to do and not feeling shamed about it.

And as for the Aretha reaction? When they first showed her I thought she looked great. I thought she looked beautiful. I’m no expert on knowing how old all these people are, but if I remember correctly Aretha isn’t young anymore, and I thought she looked great. I couldn’t believe my sister would react like at. And not to mention how my 8 year old cousin picked up on it and copied her action.

These whole two weeks have been a strange experience for me. This is the first time since knowing about feminism, privilege, and the like. And I can’t believe how much of it I am seeing in my family. We drive somewhere and all I hear is “Oh, look at the Mexicano!” or some other insulting comment toward anyone who is Mexican. And it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME we see some one who isn’t white. It pisses me off- what do they know about these people or the lives they are living? Nothing. I can’t stand my Grandfathers opinions. He uses the word “nigger” quite often (I’ve heard that word a few times this vacation, along with a few other derogatory words), and I just don’t being around him when he talks like that. I don’t like being around any of them when they talk like this. It’s hard because I know none of them are bad people (minus their ignorant comments) and they are my family. I just can’t put up with this for much longer.

Not to mention the genderization. Clearly, all the women in my family think the men are idiots and the men think the women are crazy and filled with too much estrogen. 

My one Aunt (the mother of my cousin) is also on Weight Watchers. Apparently she wants to lose weight because her wedding ring doesn’t fit any more and she doesn’t want to get it re-sized. While we were in the car going to Savannah she said “I need to behave”. What the hell? Behave? UGH. Us women really need to reel our appetites in and behave! We can’t misbehave ever! I can feel the body hate from everywhere in this family. And they criticize EVERYONE. Like, someone’s appearance is the first thing they notice about every single person. Whenever I look at someone I generally see the good in them, or notice something about the way they look that I like. I like to look at different people and think how beautiful all people all because we are different (you know, all that mooshy stuff). But they way the first thing they notice in the negative seems to be a reflection of their own feelings.

I’m leaving tomorrow, so at least I’ll only have to put up with, this among other things, sexist and racist shit.