So, there’s this one girl who I am friends with here. She’s nice, likes to talk, someone who I get along good with.
Thing is, she’s so fucking body hating it’s not even funny. (Well, technically it’s not ever funny, but I need a phrase)
She goes on and on about how fat she is, has shameful eating habits, and always talks about how fat her roommate is. I like hanging out with her, it’s just every time this conversation comes up I get pissed and annoyed. And I don’t know what to do about it.
I was hanging out in the lounge with her (after enjoying a very yummy Chinese Bday meal!) and she was talking on the phone. She starts telling this story about how there were cheerleaders who were “so fat” and apparently they were showing it off (in other words, not hiding in oversized sweaters). Her fat roommate, who she thinks is disgusting for not hiding her fat, was there too. My friend was saying how she thought it was funny that her roommate put a sweatshirt on afterwords, as though they finally got through to her. Then she rambled on about how wrong it was that her roommate acted as though she wasn’t disgusted with her fat.
I left. Right then and there I packed up my stuff, grumbled, and left. I am so fucking sick of her attitude. I think she just isn’t happy with herself- if I am going to be description in appearance, her roommate is fat, and my friend is fat as well. I’m just sick of this shit. I have a feeling pretty soon some fat speech or rant is going to be coming from me to her, because I don’t know how much longer I can listen to this shit. I’m just thinking, “What the fuck is wrong with not feeling shame for being fat?” I found it offensive what she said. I’m sitting right there, being my fat self, and implying that is wrong for me to be happy with who I am and not feel afraid to show it off? Fuck it!
Seriously… enough. If this comes up again, I am going to say something. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this type of talk. It’s insulting to her roommate, to me personally, and to pretty much everyone who likes the way they look and don’t feel ashamed of themselves for it.
Hi Liz,
I’m *delurking* right now. I love your blog!
and you should definitely say something to this girl. it sounds like she’s fat, you’re fat, and the roommate is fat. so it’s not out of line to say she’s offending you and that there’s nothing wrong with being fat and not hiding it!
Maybe it’ll help her, maybe it won’t get through to her.
But either way she should stop talking that way and (probably) making you guys feel like shit.
or you can send me her email or something and i’ll tell her anonymously =) that would be fun!
By: suzanne on September 25, 2008
at 6:54 pm
you should say something. She needs to hear it.
By: Anastasia on September 25, 2008
at 8:03 pm
Wow. She was being really rude, and downright mean to her roommate. I think it was awesome of you though for leaving, and good luck sitcking up to her next time she pulls this.
By: badgerthegnome on September 26, 2008
at 2:05 am
Maybe she just doesn’t notice what she’s saying.
As her friend, you’re in a good position to let her know what you think, without embarrassing her. Hopefully, your positive attitude will rub off on her and she’ll be happier with herself (and others) soon!
By: Leena on September 26, 2008
at 6:27 am
Hm, but you like everything else about her?
Well, I agree, she definately probably has some issues with herself.
Maybe you better call her on it, so she’ll know that she’s not fooling anyone.
By: The University Princess on September 26, 2008
at 3:47 pm
You know what’s even sadder? My almost 70 year old mother acts like this girl. It’s pathetic.
Ugh. This person sounds like she has many self esteem issues herself. What a mean little toad.
Don’t let her get to you and you keep being your fabulous self!
By: Vivienne on September 26, 2008
at 6:57 pm
I found this blog advertised on the kateharding blog and I think you’re interesting! I mean I see alot of older, mature women very sure about themselves and in their place in the world… I haven’t met many girls that are around my age that are that confident.
I’m a college kid myself, and I blind people with my spazzness and excessive energy. You’re doing something very awesome here, and I respect that.
About college: First two semesters are always rough, but you get into the swing of things, find your niche and it’ll be smooth sailing.
By: Camie on September 27, 2008
at 11:24 am
Sounds like she’s just covering up her own insecurities by being a bitch, talking about it would definitely help. You might not get through to her right away but hey no friends is waaayy better than destructive loser friends, no?
By: Lu on September 27, 2008
at 5:30 pm
Wow, she sounds so obnoxious… it must be difficult to be friends with her (though I give you props for trying). Next time, do say something! You’re probably right that if she has a problem with that many people’s other bodies, she’s not feeling too good about her own. But realizing some people are comfortable and happy with their bodies (regardless of whether SHE approves of them) may change her mind. MAY.
By: dollyann on September 29, 2008
at 12:04 am
Just speak up. Each and every time. You can do it calmly and politely — you shouldn’t wait until you explode and rant at her all crazy-like. But unless and until she gets the message that her retarded bigotry is wrong, it’s just going to continue. Be the messenger. It will feel scary and awkward at first, but it’s worth it.
By: Cyn on September 29, 2008
at 6:37 pm