So, if you didn’t know, I haven’t spoken to my dad in a week now. Why? Because my political views are leaning more to left than his conservative ones. This all started when I went to get some Obama stickers before leaving to go home last weekend, and he saw them. Pretty much made a disgusted at them face, and then mumbled something about “When the country turns communist you’ll know who to blame”. Then, we proceeds to put the radio onto some Republican radio station (this is the man who usually prefers not to have the radio on). So I’m thinking to myself “I don’t have to listen to this shit- you can’t force me to”. So I put on my headphones because I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need him shoving stuff in my face that I think is bullshit. Then I go and call Ehmuhlee, and tell her I scored us some stickers, at which point in time my dad decides to turn up the radio LOUDER. WTF? I couldn’t hear what Emily was saying on the phone, I had my one hand on my ear just to try to hear.
So I just check my email, and he sent me this:
Hi Lizzymiss you. here are two awful poems. I just wanted to get some things off my chest, and sometimes the best way I can do so is by awful poetry. In case you did not know, guys are not very good at verbalizing feelings, things do not come out right for us most times. The one is for you, the other was just something I needed to write.it hurts me that you do not share my basic philosophies of government/life. It does not hurt because I wanted you to be a carbon copy or think that you do not have a right to your opinion, it hurts because it is something that puts a distance between us, and we were always very close. If you do not respect my basic beliefs, in some way you do not respect me. If I can not subscribe to your beliefs, in some way I do not respect you. I do not want this to be the case for either of us, not sure what we can do about it.you have to understand that as a parent, I have devoted my life to you. Separation is unavoidable and necessary as you move on in life, but it hurts me like hell. And I get to look forward to it again in a few years w/ Ally.Congratulations on your election victory. I wish the man well. I hope he governs as well as he campaigned.Love,Daddy
The Death of Capitalism
And so we are sold
into the soft slavery of socialism.
Many by circumstance,
many (too many) by choice.
Those that cherish freedom cry out, give voice,
But are drown out by the marching steps
Of lockstep liberalism,
The drumbeat of history,
“To the left, to the left, to the left, MARCH!”.
The thunder from the right
is never heard.
The prophets of profit
Have sold our saviour
For a few gold coins.
To My Daughter, the Liberal
When you were born
I felt the miracle of life and the love of a father
for his baby girl.
When you were three, you looked up at me
from the bottom porch step,
with trust and love,
and you believed in me.
An image captured on film,
and engraved forever on my heart.
When you were five
I cried hard, dry
man-tears
as I watched you get on the bus
for your first day of school,
and watched you leave us
behind.
As you grew, we became true friends.
Spending time together was always fun, easy.
Silly games and special times, popcorn and TV.
We talked about many things,
so close it seemed we could always
talk about anything.
Words failed me when you left for college…
I cried hard, dry man-tears again.
Now we can talk about…nothing.
A wall has come between us.
You shout from the left,
I shout from the right,
and we no longer hear each other at all.
The distance between us
is no longer just physical.
The pain burns, turns to anger,
because I have no idea
if we can tear down this wall.
Hey, atleast i have a new nickname! I AM THE DAUGHTER, THE LIBERAL!!!!!!!! FEAR MEE!!!!!
blargh..
Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! That last poem…wow. I don’t know what I’d do if my Dad wrote something like that about me. Probably cry hard, WET woman-tears.
Christ, my best friend is a Mormon.
WE JUST DON’T TALK ABOUT POLITICS. And that’s FINE! It works!
The bottom line is: you’re his effing *daughter,* and he obviously adores you. That fact alone, as proved by his words about his memories of you, should trump any disagreements about Barack Obama. Why’s he gotta be like this about it??
By: genevieve on November 7, 2008
at 2:54 pm
reading this makes me want to call you so much! so screw this comment. i’m dialing now.
By: emuhlee on November 7, 2008
at 3:18 pm
You know the saying that you catch more flies with honey? That might be your best option here. Say something nice like “Thanks for being concerned, dad (or daddy . . . hee hee, I always get my way when I say that), but you don’t need to worry about me.” Then change the subject. Maybe try to talk about something you guys agree on (I don’t know . . . the weather? . . . something) and just let him know that politics is a no-no topic for you two. Just . . . don’t talk about it. He says something about politics, you can just say, “You know that will just make us upset.” Then change the subject again until he gets the point. There are things I do that my parents don’t agree with, so we just don’t talk about those things. We have a great relationship.
By: Kim on November 7, 2008
at 3:46 pm
My parents and I are opposite ends of the spectrum. My mom doesn’t talk about politics at all. My father and I try not to because we disagree so strongly. I have been, like so many other people in this country, very emotional (positively) this week and when I got two emails from my father after the election saying he is disgusted by the conservative Christians and by the racism that governed some people’s voting, I just cried more. My father doesn’t agree with Obama and didn’t vote for him for his own reasons, which I can respect. That my father respects my own decision and independence is overwhelmingly wonderful. I am the luckiest person on earth to have such an understanding and loving father. He called me yesterday afternoon the moment he heard that NC was called for Obama. He called to congratulate me and he sounded genuinely pleased.
I think you’re right – you don’t have to agree with someone’s views to respect them. I respect my Republican friends and they respect me. It sounds like he’s allowing his fear of what he’s been told about liberalism and feminism control his impression of you. You are still his daughter. You are just now his daughter who respects herself enough to figure out who she is. He should admire you for your persistence, not punish you for your conclusions. He’s probably worried you are going to get a girlfriend and an abortion every month and also maybe stop shaving your legs.
And also, gah. Obama’s not a Communist. Or a Socialist. Capitalism is not going to disappear, especially not in one presidential term. I know I’m preaching to the choir but ugh, I am so tired of people being uneducated about a) Obama’s policies and b) Communism, Socialism, and Islam.
<3
By: sparklepants on November 7, 2008
at 4:15 pm
It is not a male-female thing. Your father has had life experiences and history that leads to his beliefs. Older people tend to see things from a longer time horizon and we can learn from them, so as not to repeat history or learn the hard way. He is probably worried for you. The book Ominous Parallels may help better understand where he is coming from.
By: Susan on November 7, 2008
at 4:50 pm
Maybe you both could learn to not talk politics with each other, just as I don’t talk weight with my parents. You both are going to have to accept that you don’t share each others viewpoints, and that’s ok.
BTW, this is kind of hard to read, maybe paragraphs would help a little?
By: julie on November 7, 2008
at 6:45 pm
Hmm…how to word this.
You do have to find your own way in the world. That includes political philosophy and it can be very trying at times. I can somewhat sympathize with your situation vis-a-vis your family and politics. Most people that I know (family, my boss etc) voted either for McCain or for Obama. I, on the other hand, got a ration of shit almost daily cause I was gonna write in a vote for Ron Paul. Mostly it was in the form of ‘You’re wasting your vote’ or ‘You’re going to help elect [him] and [he] will ruin our Country’ (Naturally, the ‘him’ depended upon the person talking to me was either an Obama or a McCain supporter). Of course, I have a little bit more wisdom under my belt courtesy of being nearly twice your age so I’ve learned how to fend off most of these situations.
The next 4 years are going to require ALOT of cooperation from people from all political philosophies to keep the government in check and repeal some of the more horrid aspects of the Bush Administration (Real ID, Patriot Act, Military-Commisions Act, The War on Terror , The Fraudulent Bailout/Spending Spree (2.2 trillion in the hole and counting) etc.
I’m gonna give you a few links that I would like you to peruse (at your leisure and discretion). Some of these might help you to season your political philosophy. Also, as a Libertarian I’m naturally going to try and convert you to my way of thinking ~_^ (minus the propaganda and/or thumbscrews/bed-of-nails/Chinese Water Torture).
The Ridley Report on YouTube about FreeStaters in New Hampshire. These people are AWESOME and Dave Ridley is da man!
http://www.youtube.com/user/RidleyReport
Lew Rockwell interviewed Naomi Wolf (this you should listen to especially, please)
http://www.lewrockwell.com/podcast/?p=episode&name=2008-10-30_058_americas_slow_motion_fascist_coup.mp3
Ron Paul talks about the Bailout and The Federal Reserve and the fact that its now all but enslaved our nation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBStWyQW6Rk
Ron Paul smacks that fucktard Fed Chairman Bernanke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjpor8iBe58&NR=1
Lastly (and yes, I’m a supporter) Libertarians for Life. Just as I now believe its immoral for The State to execute people, I also think its immoral to kill an innocent.
http://www.l4l.org/
Now, please, don’t bite my head off. I will gladly admit that Obama ran a SIGNIFICANTLY better campaign than McCain. I am hopeful, however I mistrust what is to come, that the Obama Administration will repeal (as I said) some of the more virulent aspects of the Bush Admin (Real ID et al). I am hoping against hope that the Obama Administration will keep its pledge to NOT violate my Civil Rights as an ‘Assault Rifle’ owner and buyer and reauthorize the UnConstitutional ‘Assault Weapon Ban’, as the 2nd Amendment is no more negotiable than the 1st Amendment.
In closing, I will say that those that think Capitalism and/or Free Markets died on November the 4th, they have their heads up their asses. It died ALONG time ago when The Federal Reserve Bank was created in 1913. We have not had a Free Market in almost a century and its only gotten worse when the Bailout gave the Treasury Secretary almost dictatorial powers.
By: Brooklyn Red Leg on November 7, 2008
at 11:00 pm
I gotta say: I think your dad puts a lot more stock in political beliefs than most. Maybe more than he actually should. My parents (my whole family!) are Republican, and I am staunchly liberal. I don’t talk to my aunt about politics because she makes it as personal as your dad (and more offensively, she seems to question my religion as she does it, implying that because I am liberal I must be a bad Christian) does. I don’t talk much about politics with my dad because politics basically seems like an argument no matter how you frame it. However, my parents & I have come to terms with each others beliefs in this way: we realize we all want the same goals, we just differ in how we think those goals should be met. We all want a safe place for children to grow up. We all want to see less poverty. We all want people to love and respect each other. Heck, even the pro-life vs. pro-choicers can agree on one thing: we all want to decrease the number of abortions necessary. Our end goals, our intentions, are all the same. We just disagree in the best way to achieve those outcomes. And in that, we have agreed to disagree, but that disagreement doesn’t make either of us bad people.
Oh, and I do the same thing with Republican radio. If my dad listens to Fox News in the truck (and he always does), I plug my head into my iPhone and jam out to Dave Matthews Band. That way I’m not frothing with anger at the garbage being spewed and no one gets into an argument. And for the record, I’m 29, married 8 years, with a 2-year-old of my own. So this has been going on for…a long time. ^_^
By: HillaryGayle on November 7, 2008
at 11:44 pm
Wow–this situation must be really difficult for you. He is clearly very entrenched in his views, perhaps more than in the average familial political disagreement. And the first poem really does sound like it’s scolding you. I can definitely see why you are angry at him. In many ways it sounds like he’s being a jerk. The right-wing radio station move in particular was pretty childish.
As someone that doesn’t have to put up with him day to day (so of course I don’t really know the whole story and could be way off base), I will say that it seems to me from the email like he is trying. I don’t know what the answer is, because I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it’s necessarily healthy to engage with him when he might do nothing but attack your views, but I will say that on the “we men don’t show our feelings” part–clearly that is a view that in an ideal world he would get over and is sort of a cop-out, but it might also be a generational thing. It’s hard to tell how much of this is him hiding behind a convenient stereotype and how much is him struggling to get his feelings out when he was probably raised in a way that did not encourage men to articulate their feelings. The part that makes me think he’s trying is that he at least seems to recognize that you are talking past each other and have some concept that he is entrenched on the right and maybe part of this is his fault (OK, I’m reading that in, but that’s how it sounds to me.) I do think he needs to be the grownup here and it sounds like he is not being at the moment, but perhaps the email is a first clumsy attempt at trying to mend fences. I take this perspective because I know if my dad sent an email with that much “feeling-talk” in it, for him that would be a big concession/olive branch. Of course I don’t know your dad and whether it serves the same purpose for him, or whether he is just being passive-aggressive or any of a million shades of gray in between–or something else entirely–but thought I would mention that.
I can’t tell you to go talk to him and everything will be OK, but if you feel comfortable engaging him about something other than politics (and maybe eventually some ground rules will need to be laid that you are not willing to discuss politics with him) it might be worthwhile to reach out. But if not, you know what’s best for you and whether you are comfortable speaking with him yet considering how difficult a time he has given you. Mostly I just wanted to offer a few {{hugs}} and my sympathy for you, and my hope that this will all somehow come out right in the end.
By: spacedcowgirl on November 8, 2008
at 12:03 am
I’m seeing another victim of “Fair and balanced,” where they believe that neither side of an argument could be right when it means the other has to be wrong. I believe the things I do for good reasons, and I’ve not always been right about everything, so I don’t think you need to be an idiot to be wrong. Being wrong on occasion is inevitable and human, not a sign of idiocy.
By: Sara Anderson on November 8, 2008
at 12:40 am
you’ve got to convince him that, even though you disagree, you do take his viewpoint seriously and respect. Personally, I have a hard time taking republicans all that seriously when it comes to politics because they just seem so wrong to me. But to ease his mind, it might be good to make some kind of effort to convince that you see his side of things. It really doesn’t have to come between this way. That’s where he’s set up a false dilemma of some kind. It may mean you can’t talk politics but it doesn’t mean you can’t be close.
In fact, I’m kind of irritated with him for taking all of this out on you, when you’re just starting out in your life, figuring out what you believe. He needs to cope with these feelings without involving you. In my opinion, anyway.
But still. He seems like a good guy who really loves you and really, really cares about capitalism. People get a little freaked out sometimes.
By: Anastasia on November 8, 2008
at 7:49 am
This is really sad! It does sound like he’s scolding you a bit. Although he says he doesn’t want you to be a copy of himself, the poem describing how you used to look up to him and believe in him and now you don’t sounds a lot like he’s disappointed that you didn’t grow up and stick with his beliefs. That is, when you were young and before you developed thoughts of your own, he got along with you fine.
If he doesn’t want to drive you away, the only thing he can do (besides changing his philosophies) is NOT talk about these things around you and not make rude comments. Whether he respects you or not is totally up to him and your differing opinions shouldn’t change his feelings for you as his daughter. He should respect you enough to not hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable for your beliefs.
Politics and fundamental beliefs are things people get overly passionate and defensive about. Your beliefs are perfectly acceptable and rational, you don’t deserve negativity or drama because of them, especially from your family.
My suggestion: You should let them know that you will avoid talking about those issues and that you hope they will, too, and that it doesn’t mean you love them or respect them less for it.
By: Leena on November 8, 2008
at 1:48 pm
*Blinks.* *Blinks* Wha–? What was that? “Dry MAN TEARS?” WTF?!
OMG, Liz.. I’m lmao here (mostly cuz those poems were crazy funny), but I don’t really know what to say. I mean, my dad is basically the same way and I practically disowned him the second I got a taste of freedom at college. But I don’t want to say, “Oh yeah, your dad’s a crazy conservative fuckneck with the same yearning for patriarchal power and authority as mine and also with the same expectation that his daughter ( a woman ) should be responsible for the maintenance of HIS relationship with her,” particularly if you don’t feel that way about your dad.
But it does piss me off the way he tells you how hard he worked to raise you and how much he loves you as a subtle reason you should not be a Democrat. It’s like he’s trying to guilt you out of your politics, and that’s not right. All this poetry and letter writing would be like you sending him a copy of “The Handmaid’s Tale” with an accompanying letter telling him his Republican policies remind you of Offred’s master and the dystopia they live in. (PS, if u don’t know already, Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale = pure feminist brilliance)
Like I said before, I don’t want to tread over any love you most likely do have for your dad, but the similarites between our fathers are so eerily strong that I can’t help but complain about mine’s assholery. For example, “he who shall not be named” accused me of being a Communist because I’m learning Chinese. (I’d wait and see if that one comes up in your house). All I have to say is, I’m really sorry. It sounds like you’re handling it really well. And, um, thank bejesus that your dad doesn’t read your blog!
By: dollyann on November 8, 2008
at 3:39 pm
At the end of the day you might need to decide. “Do I love my father more than my views?”
I think the last poem is a cry to have his daughter back. But he realises that you are independent and that he has to let you go.
Guess it’s the old:
If you love something let it go,
If it comes back to you it`s your,
If it doesn`t, it never was
Being a parent has to be hard. One day you’ll be a parent and going through the same issues. Don’t let your relationship get to such a point where you’ll never get it back. I’ve seen this happen with friends.
He’s saying sorry in his dry man tears kind of way. Why not find a way of agreeing to disagree, and enjoy all the other things about being father and daughter?
By: deborah-lee on November 8, 2008
at 3:46 pm
Ugh. Politics and parents. Sometimes I think its not so much of the issue at hand, but more of the fact that ‘their little girl is growing up’ and that you can make your own decisions now and you no longer listen to everything they say as the absolute answer to life. Either way, good luck with that. You have my best wishes!
By: sugarhorse on November 8, 2008
at 10:47 pm
Your Dad sounds a LOT like mine. I can actually imagine him writing that letter. Both of my parents are hardcore Republicans. I was probably around your age when I started “coming out” as a liberal. It’s not easy, I know your pain. I was always very close to my parents, especially my Dad. There were lots of arguments and yelling and not speaking for weeks on end. It’s tough, I’m not going to lie. However, after 8-10 years, we’ve managed to come to something of a happy medium.
With my mom, I avoid talk of anything that relates to politics (or religion) at all. Yes, it makes for pretty superficial conversation. However, we are also able to go much longer without hurting each other or yelling at each other. We can go shopping, or make dinner or chat about the family or work, or other things in our lives, and have an enjoyable time. Is it ideal, or perfect? Not at all. But, looking around, I also know that I have a much better relationship with my mom than lots of other people do. We both know what topics are off the table and we mutually avoid them. It is worth it to have the relationship with her that I do.
With my dad, I have a little bit more freedom, because we are able to listen to each other and disagree respectfully. However, this also leads to a higher level of stress on the relationship during times like the past few months, when politics is all that anyone is speaking about. Honestly, I haven’t spoken to my Dad as regularly since September-ish. I am hoping that now that the election is over, we’ll be able to talk more again. However, there are still topics that we need to stay away from, mostly on the social issues spectrum – abortion, gay rights, etc., because he is pretty conservative on those and they are highly emotional on both ends. Whereas something like tax policy is less likely to get heated.
With both of my parents, and I think what you will end up going through with your dad, you have to figure out what topics are safe and which need to be avoided. You both also need to realize that you aren’t going to change each other’s minds. I know it’s hard when you feel passionately about something (hence why I don’t really talk to my Dad during election season) but you have to figure out what is worth more – your relationship with your Dad or your desire to speak out about your beliefs to him. And he has to do the same thing. He needs to respect that you don’t believe what he does. Then you both need to leave it at that. Agree to disagree, if I may use the cliche. Then move on, and have a relationship based on what you do have in common.
If you ever want to chat or vent, feel free to email me! Hugs and support!
By: Katie on November 9, 2008
at 11:46 am
Hey Liz,
I’m gonna give you one more link to a vid and please, when you get the chance, peruse it. Send it to all your friends and have them watch it as it will scare the ever-lovin crap out of you all. Please, take this seriously as its going to be your generation that will be inheriting this country and you need to be well informed and well prepared!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1656880303867390173
The main page is here:
http://www.freedomtofascism.com/
By: Brooklyn Red Leg on November 9, 2008
at 12:21 pm
I still can’t get past the man-tears. Gosh.
All I want to say is that, though members of my family are mostly liberal and therefore in line with my beliefs, I don’t think this has to be a “wall” as you father described it. I mean, yes, your beliefs shape who you are, what you value, etc. But I have plenty of friends, and some family, who are conservative and we get along just fine. Sometimes, we even debate about politics. And it’s not a problem.
It’s one of those self-fulfilling things. If you both think it’s a wall, it becomes one. Or really, if one of you thinks it’s a wall, it becomes one. I’m sorry that it’s come to that, and that you and your father feel pain, but really, we live with these stark contrasts every day. You struggled through a Bush Administration, just like he’ll struggle through an Obama Administration. It might just be something where if you can calmly explain to him your beliefs, and he can calmly explain to him yours, then the two of you will get through this.
And on that note, I think it’d be good if someone explained to your father that capitalism is not self-sustaining, and that IT will be it’s own end. We’re not going into socialism, either. Ugh.
Anyway, good luck, Liz.
By: Chrissy on November 9, 2008
at 2:12 pm
I know that you must be frustrated that your dad doesn’t understand you, and that he infantilizes you, but I’m sorry I cannot relate. I wish my father loved me as much as yours obviously does. And I wish that even one of my parents cared at all about what happened inside my brain, as much as your father does. I say live and let live, and appreciate what you have.
By: wildflower on November 9, 2008
at 8:11 pm
I kind of skimmed over the comments so I don’t know if someone else already mentioned this, but here’s what caught my eye:
“If you do not respect my basic beliefs, in some way you do not respect me. If I can not subscribe to your beliefs, in some way I do not respect you.”
Do you see what he did there? In the first sentence respect=respect (which is somewhat valid). But in the second sentence, respect has to equal “subscribing to your beliefs.” And the pronouns he chooses are telling, IMO.
When I first read the sentences, I flipped the pronouns; I thought he was saying “I respect you so I respect your beliefs (even if I disagree with them).” And I read the second sentence as sort of saying “But because you don’t believe the same things I do, you’re disrespecting me.” And I thought that, as sad as it is, that’s kind of a “typical” voice from a certain type of person – my father is like that, in that if I express a different opinion than his AT ALL it’s because I’m a selfish, ungrateful, hateful, brain-dead little piece of sh*t, and probably I’m doing it on purpose just to piss him off because no sane person could ever TRULY feel [whatever it is I feel that he disagrees with].
But when I read it again, it’s the exact opposite. He’s essentially saying “You respect me overall even though you don’t respect some of my beliefs, but I can’t/won’t respect you if there are areas on which we disagree.”
I can’t articulate it well, but ponder the phrasing, the shift from “respect” to “subscribe to,” and the pronoun choices, and maybe you’ll see what I am trying to say.
It’s also quite possible that he feels a lot more disrespected than you’ve given illustrations for – the scene you’ve described in the car is hardly a reason for him to feel “disrespected,” IMO. But the text of his email and the poems indicates that he perceives there to be a huge problem – whether it’s that he can’t respect you (as it reads to me), or if it’s that he feels a hell of a lot more disrespect than is indicated by the rest of your post.
Anyway. It’s pretty clear that you care about your dad, and he about you, and that you (both) want to bridge this gap. If you were asking for advice (instead of interpretation), I would say to tell him, “It’s possible to respect and accept someone without ’subscribing to their beliefs.’ I can believe that a Jewish person is a good person and enjoy spending time with them without having to convert to Judaism myself” – or whatever religion is appropriate there – “but I won’t enjoy their company if they’re just trying to convert me all the time. It would be a clear statement that I’m not good enough for them as I am. I don’t try to ‘convert’ you to my political beliefs, because I love you just the way you are, even if I disagree with you on some things. I know you love me, and it’s out of respect for that love, and out of my own love for you, that I don’t try to ‘convert’ you.” (Of course, you can only say that if it’s true and you DON’T try to convert him, heh)
And point out to him that yes, he DID raise you – he raised you to be an intelligent, strong, *independent* person who can accept that different people have different beliefs, principles, priorities, and opinions. He did NOT raise you to be the kind of person who demands that everyone be a yes-man or toe your particular party line in order to be someone you care about and respect.
(Again… if that’s true. You’re going to have to do some soul-searching to make sure that you’re not trying to change him, or sending him the message that he’s unacceptable “as is” to you.)
Good luck. I gave up on my own relationship with my father years ago, and as relieved as I am about not having that struggle anymore, I still wonder sometimes what it’d be like to have a father I could love, and one who loved me. (I still speak to him and all, it’s just that I don’t see him as “my father,” just as this older man I have known for a long time – if that makes sense.)
Oh, something else – sorry, this comment is a book, I know. A lot, a LOT of conservatives I know are having histrionics because “OMG all the Democrats believe Obama is the New Messiah” etc etc. Look. I voted for the man, I hoped he’d win – because I believed he was the best *of the choices available* and because I think he’s inexperienced ENOUGH to not already be firmly entrenched in the “Washington groove,” if that makes sense. Does his lack of experience concern me? Oh hell yes. Worries the hell out of me. I hear his speeches with lots of promises but not too much by way of actual plans, and it worries me. But, at the same time, if he had (say) 20 years of experience in government, he’d have fallen into the “business as usual on the Hill” routine, and wouldn’t be in a position to even suggest changes. So his inexperience is, simultaneously, a drawback and a boon.
A lot of conservatives – especially those with talk radio shows – are (deliberately) painting liberals, moderates, Democrats, Independents, etc, as blind, stupid, lemming-like worshipers at the altar of Obama, and it’s SIMPLY NOT TRUE. There are SOME, certainly, but the vast majority of us are nothing like what the talking heads want to portray. I do not personally know ONE SINGLE OBAMA-SUPPORTER who has ever referred to him as “The Chosen One” or “the Messiah” or any of the other nonsense that people like Rush, Hannity, O’Reilly are trying to spin.
To be honest with you, if I knew of someone who was all “OMG Obama’s the new Messiah, he’s going to save us all and lead us to the Promised Land and we’ll never have to worry or struggle or be sad again and I would totally kill my firstborn child if he told me to oh squeeeeee!” I would be very worried about that person’s mental health, stability, and intelligence myself.
SINCE your dad is probably getting that impression from the talk radio guys – “Everyone who voted for Obama is ready to commit murder or suicide if he says to” – he might actually believe that hyperbole applies to you.
Perhaps mention to him that the talk radio guys make money by stirring up trouble (just like tabloids), and for him to please judge liberals/Democrats/moderates – especially those he knows – by WHAT THEY SAY AND DO, instead of what a bunch of talking heads in a studio say about them. My father is completely convinced that if Obama said, “Jump off a cliff,” I’d jump, and that I believe he’s a new Messiah – because that is what the radio guys tell him I believe. He hasn’t bothered to ASK me what I think or believe, has only TOLD me what “he knows” I think and believe. So perhaps some reassurance is in order, to assure him that you are not simply following a mystical Pied Piper, but actually forming thoughtful decisions and opinions.
By: elayne on November 10, 2008
at 2:34 am
Your father loves you. You and he have a close bond, and have come upon a source of major disupte for the first time. It’s normal what you are feeling.
That said, don’t be so stubborn that you make it into something bigger than it has to be. I don’t at all mean to put down your political viewpoints. But at the end of the day, it’s just politics.
It’s not worth ruining a wonderfully beautiful father-daughter bond over.
You do have the right to express your feelings and opinions, but then there must come a time where the two of agree to disagree. I think he wants that. You are more important to him than the political ideals he may have hoped you’d keep dear to your heart.
He said so much by admitting that you and he are at odds in terms of respect due to the differing political ideals you have… so, give him a chance.
I have two parents who, when push comes to shove, don’t really give a damn about me. I don’t generally agree in full with their politics. I wish that was the biggest problem we had.
I am screwed. I’m neither left nor right. I voted for Bob Barr. I’m a Libertarian. I’m an atheist. I am so unlike my family members in ever way it’s amazing… but there are so many bigger problems we have that politics is the least of our worries.
Call him. Talk to him. Let him be your dad, your friend.
By: Juliet on November 10, 2008
at 1:39 pm
I honestly think that this was your dad’s attempt to reconnect with you. I would not take any of it the wrong way, and the best response would be a simple, “thanks for being concerned, but I think it would be best if we just don’t talk politics”
While it is the “easy way out” it is also contains the most damage control. I stopped arguing with my parents a long time ago, and now when they bring up politics I just plead the 5th and change the subject, and I suggest you do the same! Good luck!
By: Melissa on November 10, 2008
at 9:57 pm
What I would give to have a father that showed his love for me like that. From what I read I saw a father who is having a hard time with his daughter growing up and not being his little girl anymore. Sounds like he is trying his best.. in the way he knows how.. to share his feelings. Give him a break .. you are lucky to have a father who cares so much about you AND your opinions thoughts and ideals. Many of us long for that.
By: CordyQ on November 13, 2008
at 1:26 am
Hey Liz,
I’ve seen this happen between my older sister and my father and in all honesty, it does put a distance between the two of you… that is if you both allow that to happen.
I have to say I don’t totally agree with your political ideals, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop reading your blog religiously! As someone once said “A young man who votes conservative has no soul, but a grown man who votes liberal has no sense.”
It is all a generational thing. Someday people will realize that we all just are done with our president at the end of four years anyway!
I think it’s awesome that you feel strong enough in yourself to not be afraid to vote which ever way you see fit and that shows maturity!
Peace, Love, and Parachutes!
Hannah
By: Hannah on November 21, 2008
at 7:44 pm
You’re more mature than your father.
That doesn’t mean he’s an idiot or a bad person. It just means that you understand that your beliefs don’t have to be a reaction to his, and he doesn’t.
He thinks it’s all about him.
You know it just isn’t.
My dad is a conservative Christian, and I’m a liberal Unitarian. My dad and I understand that our beliefs aren’t about rejecting one another. Our beliefs are matters of identity.
By: Cindy on January 1, 2009
at 4:49 pm
Also, you might mail your father a copy of the book “You Don’t Have to Be Wrong For me to Be Right.”
One could read it with an eye toward political beliefs and not just faith.
http://www.google.com/ig/dell?hl=en&client=dell-usk&channel=us&ibd=2080229
By: Cindy on January 1, 2009
at 4:52 pm