One could read it with an eye toward political beliefs and not just faith.

http://www.google.com/ig/dell?hl=en&client=dell-usk&channel=us&ibd=2080229

That doesn’t mean he’s an idiot or a bad person. It just means that you understand that your beliefs don’t have to be a reaction to his, and he doesn’t.

He thinks it’s all about him.

You know it just isn’t.

My dad is a conservative Christian, and I’m a liberal Unitarian. My dad and I understand that our beliefs aren’t about rejecting one another. Our beliefs are matters of identity.

I’ve seen this happen between my older sister and my father and in all honesty, it does put a distance between the two of you… that is if you both allow that to happen.

I have to say I don’t totally agree with your political ideals, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop reading your blog religiously! As someone once said “A young man who votes conservative has no soul, but a grown man who votes liberal has no sense.”

It is all a generational thing. Someday people will realize that we all just are done with our president at the end of four years anyway!

I think it’s awesome that you feel strong enough in yourself to not be afraid to vote which ever way you see fit and that shows maturity!

Peace, Love, and Parachutes!
Hannah

That said, don’t be so stubborn that you make it into something bigger than it has to be. I don’t at all mean to put down your political viewpoints. But at the end of the day, it’s just politics.
It’s not worth ruining a wonderfully beautiful father-daughter bond over.

You do have the right to express your feelings and opinions, but then there must come a time where the two of agree to disagree. I think he wants that. You are more important to him than the political ideals he may have hoped you’d keep dear to your heart.

He said so much by admitting that you and he are at odds in terms of respect due to the differing political ideals you have… so, give him a chance.

I have two parents who, when push comes to shove, don’t really give a damn about me. I don’t generally agree in full with their politics. I wish that was the biggest problem we had.

I am screwed. I’m neither left nor right. I voted for Bob Barr. I’m a Libertarian. I’m an atheist. I am so unlike my family members in ever way it’s amazing… but there are so many bigger problems we have that politics is the least of our worries.

Call him. Talk to him. Let him be your dad, your friend.

“If you do not respect my basic beliefs, in some way you do not respect me. If I can not subscribe to your beliefs, in some way I do not respect you.”

Do you see what he did there? In the first sentence respect=respect (which is somewhat valid). But in the second sentence, respect has to equal “subscribing to your beliefs.” And the pronouns he chooses are telling, IMO.

When I first read the sentences, I flipped the pronouns; I thought he was saying “I respect you so I respect your beliefs (even if I disagree with them).” And I read the second sentence as sort of saying “But because you don’t believe the same things I do, you’re disrespecting me.” And I thought that, as sad as it is, that’s kind of a “typical” voice from a certain type of person – my father is like that, in that if I express a different opinion than his AT ALL it’s because I’m a selfish, ungrateful, hateful, brain-dead little piece of sh*t, and probably I’m doing it on purpose just to piss him off because no sane person could ever TRULY feel [whatever it is I feel that he disagrees with].

But when I read it again, it’s the exact opposite. He’s essentially saying “You respect me overall even though you don’t respect some of my beliefs, but I can’t/won’t respect you if there are areas on which we disagree.”

I can’t articulate it well, but ponder the phrasing, the shift from “respect” to “subscribe to,” and the pronoun choices, and maybe you’ll see what I am trying to say.

It’s also quite possible that he feels a lot more disrespected than you’ve given illustrations for – the scene you’ve described in the car is hardly a reason for him to feel “disrespected,” IMO. But the text of his email and the poems indicates that he perceives there to be a huge problem – whether it’s that he can’t respect you (as it reads to me), or if it’s that he feels a hell of a lot more disrespect than is indicated by the rest of your post.

Anyway. It’s pretty clear that you care about your dad, and he about you, and that you (both) want to bridge this gap. If you were asking for advice (instead of interpretation), I would say to tell him, “It’s possible to respect and accept someone without ’subscribing to their beliefs.’ I can believe that a Jewish person is a good person and enjoy spending time with them without having to convert to Judaism myself” – or whatever religion is appropriate there – “but I won’t enjoy their company if they’re just trying to convert me all the time. It would be a clear statement that I’m not good enough for them as I am. I don’t try to ‘convert’ you to my political beliefs, because I love you just the way you are, even if I disagree with you on some things. I know you love me, and it’s out of respect for that love, and out of my own love for you, that I don’t try to ‘convert’ you.” (Of course, you can only say that if it’s true and you DON’T try to convert him, heh)

And point out to him that yes, he DID raise you – he raised you to be an intelligent, strong, *independent* person who can accept that different people have different beliefs, principles, priorities, and opinions. He did NOT raise you to be the kind of person who demands that everyone be a yes-man or toe your particular party line in order to be someone you care about and respect.

(Again… if that’s true. You’re going to have to do some soul-searching to make sure that you’re not trying to change him, or sending him the message that he’s unacceptable “as is” to you.)

Good luck. I gave up on my own relationship with my father years ago, and as relieved as I am about not having that struggle anymore, I still wonder sometimes what it’d be like to have a father I could love, and one who loved me. (I still speak to him and all, it’s just that I don’t see him as “my father,” just as this older man I have known for a long time – if that makes sense.)

Oh, something else – sorry, this comment is a book, I know. A lot, a LOT of conservatives I know are having histrionics because “OMG all the Democrats believe Obama is the New Messiah” etc etc. Look. I voted for the man, I hoped he’d win – because I believed he was the best *of the choices available* and because I think he’s inexperienced ENOUGH to not already be firmly entrenched in the “Washington groove,” if that makes sense. Does his lack of experience concern me? Oh hell yes. Worries the hell out of me. I hear his speeches with lots of promises but not too much by way of actual plans, and it worries me. But, at the same time, if he had (say) 20 years of experience in government, he’d have fallen into the “business as usual on the Hill” routine, and wouldn’t be in a position to even suggest changes. So his inexperience is, simultaneously, a drawback and a boon.

A lot of conservatives – especially those with talk radio shows – are (deliberately) painting liberals, moderates, Democrats, Independents, etc, as blind, stupid, lemming-like worshipers at the altar of Obama, and it’s SIMPLY NOT TRUE. There are SOME, certainly, but the vast majority of us are nothing like what the talking heads want to portray. I do not personally know ONE SINGLE OBAMA-SUPPORTER who has ever referred to him as “The Chosen One” or “the Messiah” or any of the other nonsense that people like Rush, Hannity, O’Reilly are trying to spin.

To be honest with you, if I knew of someone who was all “OMG Obama’s the new Messiah, he’s going to save us all and lead us to the Promised Land and we’ll never have to worry or struggle or be sad again and I would totally kill my firstborn child if he told me to oh squeeeeee!” I would be very worried about that person’s mental health, stability, and intelligence myself.

SINCE your dad is probably getting that impression from the talk radio guys – “Everyone who voted for Obama is ready to commit murder or suicide if he says to” – he might actually believe that hyperbole applies to you.

Perhaps mention to him that the talk radio guys make money by stirring up trouble (just like tabloids), and for him to please judge liberals/Democrats/moderates – especially those he knows – by WHAT THEY SAY AND DO, instead of what a bunch of talking heads in a studio say about them. My father is completely convinced that if Obama said, “Jump off a cliff,” I’d jump, and that I believe he’s a new Messiah – because that is what the radio guys tell him I believe. He hasn’t bothered to ASK me what I think or believe, has only TOLD me what “he knows” I think and believe. So perhaps some reassurance is in order, to assure him that you are not simply following a mystical Pied Piper, but actually forming thoughtful decisions and opinions.

All I want to say is that, though members of my family are mostly liberal and therefore in line with my beliefs, I don’t think this has to be a “wall” as you father described it. I mean, yes, your beliefs shape who you are, what you value, etc. But I have plenty of friends, and some family, who are conservative and we get along just fine. Sometimes, we even debate about politics. And it’s not a problem.

It’s one of those self-fulfilling things. If you both think it’s a wall, it becomes one. Or really, if one of you thinks it’s a wall, it becomes one. I’m sorry that it’s come to that, and that you and your father feel pain, but really, we live with these stark contrasts every day. You struggled through a Bush Administration, just like he’ll struggle through an Obama Administration. It might just be something where if you can calmly explain to him your beliefs, and he can calmly explain to him yours, then the two of you will get through this.

And on that note, I think it’d be good if someone explained to your father that capitalism is not self-sustaining, and that IT will be it’s own end. We’re not going into socialism, either. Ugh.

Anyway, good luck, Liz.

I’m gonna give you one more link to a vid and please, when you get the chance, peruse it. Send it to all your friends and have them watch it as it will scare the ever-lovin crap out of you all. Please, take this seriously as its going to be your generation that will be inheriting this country and you need to be well informed and well prepared!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1656880303867390173

The main page is here:

http://www.freedomtofascism.com/