(and here’s a baby flavored baby cake! yum! Fattie must eat!)

The Post that started it all. (lol, not a very interesting post). (And okay, technically the blogaversary is tomorrow, but I figured I would do it now before I engross myself in studying- which I should technically be doing now. oops)

I totally can’t believe that I’ve had this blog for a whole year. It seems like so much has happened since I first started my blog. I can’t believe how much it has helped me either- all the support everyone has given me.

I apologize for not having much updates- I went home for Thanksgiving break last Tuesday, and haven’t been online before Monday. And now I am entering ’study-franticly-for-finals-time’ and will be devoting all the time I have left for that. My last day is next Thursday, at which time I will be returning home for Winter Break (and then next semester I’m transferring! yay!).. Lately I haven’t known what to post about here… I feel like I just keep saying the same stuff over and over again, and it just gets frustrating. I want to post interesting stuff and give everyone who reads my blog something, well, good to read. I don’t like to be a disappointment and only post twice a month.

Still, I amazed that in only a year I got nearly 100,000 blog views- something I never thought would happen. Hopefully some of the crappy writing I have done might have helped or at least made someone feel alittle bit better about themsevles. I know I’m no Kate Harding (*bow down to awesomeness* ) but maybe someday I’ll get there. Of course- that is if I can manage to update my blog instead of feel horribly guilty about not doing so and write about how I feel bad that I’m not posting. Erm, yeah. lol.

Other fun stats:

Blog Stats 

Total views: 95,706

Busiest day: 967 — Monday, June 2, 2008

Views today: 31

Totals

Posts: 133

Comments: 1,361

Categories: 45

Tags: 124

Here’s to many more years~

Hey,

well im 14 and i am fat but i need some advice…i had a fight with one of my best friends and we didn’t talk for about half a year any way she came up to me and apologized but since then she has being insulting me at every chance she gets i don’t know what to do she keeps calling me fat and a midget and she keeps hitting me

help!!

oh your website has really inspired me to be happy with what i have

xxxMel

Honestly, I’d say to not put up with that crap. My ex-friend from high school did the same thing. She didn’t treat me with respect and always talked down to me. One thing I would say to do though is to talk to her about it. Start a conversation, and if she doesn’t listen to you and continues treating you that way, ditch her. She isn’t worth your time. Plus, violent friends probably aren’t the best…

i am 12 and i am obece wat can i do to lose weight i just wanna die plz hel me

wow… it’s okay! Trust me, you don’t want to die just because of your weight.. For heaven’s sake you’re only 12! I’m not going to recommend losing weight, nor will I tell you you are a horrible person for wanting to. It’s so much healthier to be comfortable with yourself the way you are. See the beauty in your own body rather than trying to fit into someone else’s. Losing weight won’t necessarily make you healthier. Trust your body, it’s yours. Listen to what your body is telling you it wants you to eat, and don’t be ashamed of eating. Ever. I just posted advice for another girl slightly older than you here, you can feel free to read (rather than me posting the same thing all over again).

Sorry if my posts are slightly off, I’m trying to get back into the posting groove.

I’m not sure if this is off topic or not… I just feel like blogging about it.

I’m not really sure how to start this, but I just feel like sometimes I am two different people. Like there are two differents sides to me. On the one side, I have the feminist, fat rights, equality believing and wants to be different girl. On the other, I have the girl who just wants to be left alone to read books, not cause trouble, go under the radar, be shy, be cute and giggly, who wants everyone to get along, and listen to everyone else without bothering to speak. It’s like the latter is what I put forth on the outside, and I keep the former inside and only have a chance to show it on my blog. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I love my blog- it lets me say what I want to say to people who want to hear it. No one in my family wants to hear about issues of women or race or anything. We just don’t talk about that kind of stuff. (Sometimes I feel that if we ever did though, I would not be able to say what I mean the right way. It’s hard to do). There are some thoughts that I don’t blog about on here either, because I am worried of what my IRL friends would think. I don’t like to think I am that radical or anything, because compared to others involved I’m really not, but compared to the people around me I feel like I am.

I want to be like those women in BUST or on feminist blogs. I want to surround myself with people like that- who believe in those kind of things and arn’t ashamed of it. But I’m not surrounded by that. The most I can get of it is in my magazines or reading blogs online.

Another problem I see coming up is my political decisions. I can’t believe I am going to be 18 in September, and that I’ll be able to vote. My parents happen to be conservatives. I’m a little bit nervous because I’m not sure what I believe. For the (almost) 9 months (I can’t believe it’s been so long already!) I’ve been blogging and reading the fatosphere (in turn taking me to other social activist type sites), I’ve learned a lot. I havn’t learned everything, but i have learned a lot. I just.. I don’t know what political party I would vote for. I feel like I am leaning more toward democrat. Which is shocking for me, since my parents are Republican. I remember when I 14 and had Bush stickers all over the place because my parents were voting for him. Their belief was my belief, and now that mine is starting to differ I feel a little out of place.

And then my dad says, we were on the topic of college, that “You have some of those feminism ideals and I’m worried that when you go to college the liberal teachers will fill you head blahblahblah”… Ugh. (That’s not exact wording, obviously, but he was pretty much saying that the teachers will brainwash me with liberal ideas and such and since I am already prone to feminism, it’s not a good sign). Double Ugh. It just bothers me that he said that. Bringing feminism into the conversation makes it seems as though feminism is ridiculous to him. The whole comment just unnerved me. What if agree with what people say to me on my choice? As if believing in those things is a bad thing. I don’t know.. Maybe this is why talking politics at all makes me nervous.

*sigh*.. I don’t know…

..4 days left until college….

Yep, I’ve gone and done it- I made a college blog. I’m actually rather pleased with it.

http://bethbluestocking.wordpress.com/

Come and give it a visit. I’ve got two posts up already. For right now, the blog is probably going to be all “pictures of the crap I am taking” or a post about how my roomates are pretty cool or about nerves until I actually get to college. (and Alphonse Mucha header for the WIN!). I need to work on the About page (i didn’t get to add anything to it yet), but other than I think it’s mostly ready. yay! And I like the name… Beth Bluestocking. It just works. (I tried to find a blue colored layout, but I didn’t really like anything that WordPress had… I didn’t want to do green originally, since this blog has a green theme, but I ended up using green anyway. Oh well.)

I feel like such an arse for not having anything good to write about on this blog! I havn’t posted anything worthwhile since.. like.. middle of July. Lame. I need to think of something to write about…

Well, anyway, just thought I would share the link.

My friend Nikki (who I just mentioned in my previous post), has made her own blog about college, and I figured I would try and get her some readers (if, of course any of you are interested, I’m not going to force you to go to my friends blog lol). yay for Shameless Blog Promoting!

http://collegegirl-becomingmore.blogspot.com/

On a side note, I have been thinking about whether or not I want to make another blog. This blog is supposed to center on Fat/Body Acceptance, some newbie feminism dashed in, and an occasional post about something off topic. I’m a person who likes to have her online crap organized. On Deviantart, I have a photo account and a drawing account, because I like to have the mediums seperate. I just do. It sucks when I don’t have any new photos and nothing gets uploaded on that account for months, but that’s just the way I am. So, I have been debating about making another blog for my college thoughts. Since ramblings about college don’t really ‘fit’ with this blog. They fit with me, but is this blog really all about me, or just about the parts of me that are relative to fat issues? I feel as though I do prefer this blog to be relative to those issues, it keeps the blog cohesive. I am sure there will be college incidents which will give me inspiration to write a post here, but for the mundane happenings of college life I think I would rather have another blog for that instead of mixing it together. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Or if I should make a blog as a Nursing Student? The Nursing Student might work better, since then I can “retire” the blog once I am no longer a student, and my four year student blog will be done!

Though that gives me questions about this blog- do I end it once I am no longer a teenager? As it is, yanno, Diary of a Fat Teenager. I’d kinda rather end it once I get into my 20s, at which time I can make a new blog, and preserve the old one so that someday other teenagers can find it and read my thoughts as a teenager. And then I can waste lots of paper by printing all my posts out so I can look back on them. Anyway, I have another 2 years to decide on what I will do with this blog once I am no longer a teenager.

I hate to be an arse though and have two different blogs for people to keep up on, one is hard enough. (Plus, and this may be a selfish thing from me, I know lots of people won’t make the “switch” and will only read this blog, therefore giving me less readers to reach out/share my thoughts to. The same thing happened when I moved my art on deviantart from my photo account to my new art account, half my watchers didn’t bother with it. I hate how I feel that comments and pageviews are a reflection of how good your blog is..) So anyway… Just some quick thoughts of mine about where this blog will be headed. I know I am asking for a lot of advice in the past few posts, but, again, if you have any thoughts on the matter let me know.

…And go visit Nikki’s blog lol. It is rather new, but check out her awesome art skillzzz.

Ugh…. I hate to say this but I think my posting will be light the next few weeks. I have so much to do…

I’m working almost everyday! I have off this Wednesday and Friday this week, and Sunday and Friday next week.. That means i get home exhausted, just want to watch some TV and then go to sleep, sleep in until 11, go back to work in a few hours. I just don’t want to do anything in the day if I have to work later.

On the days that I have off this week, both I am doing stuff on. Emuhlee and I are hanging out Wednesday- we are going to see The Dark Night again! woo! It’s her first veiwing though, so not giving anything away! We are also stopping by Walmart and Staples to get T-shirt making supplies, so we can make Tshirts for the Breaking Dawn release! Fun filled adventure day! yay! Then on Friday, it is the Breaking Dawn release, so we might have a preparty party, then stay up really late trying to read the book. Sadly, i have to work the next day at 2:30 PM (UGH!), so I really shouldn’t stay up too late. I have off Sunday though, so I can read all day Sunday. yay!

So I am just working a lot, and it is wearing me out a little bit. I really love my job, surprisingly, I’m just in shock how much I am working. Hell, at Kuaffmans I worked, at most, 2 days a week, if that. I love working until it gets to 7:30, 8 o’ clock, because then I have to start cleaning up. I can screw around because I can’t be overtime/in compliance/whatever it’s called. Even with that, this is probably my favorite job I’ve had so far.

My college move-in date is August 19th… It’s coming so fast! After looking at the calendar, THAT IS THREE WEEKS AWAY! AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I’m so nervous and scared. I know you guys don’t want yet another post about be ranting about being scared about college, but you’ll probably get it anyway.

So this is like an update post, and an apoligy for the fact that my updates will be few and far between. Once I get to college I’ll probably have a lot to write about though, so hopefully more posts will begin then. I’m sorry, again, everyone. I hope everyone’s summer is going well for them!

I have some ideas of what to blog about, but first I would like to have one random post.

First I have to say, comments like these totally make blogging worth it:

Hi,
I am 18 years old and I just finished my first semester of University. Since the dawn of puberty I have been steadily gaining weight and failing to lose it. The past four months have been especially difficult. I was checking out your blog just to examine the alternative, ie. finally accepting that I am just not small and it is a waste of my time to worry about it. Honestly, I don’t think I expecting to like the “alternative” point of view, I think I was hoping it would inspire some weightloss. Not so much, you come off so eloquent and likeable- nothing I could possibly disagree with. Thank you for writing and enlightening the small-minded such as myself.
Good luck with everything!
Jane.
p.s. I hope you know you’re wicked beautiful as well.

Yay! I inspire people! lol! j/k, but it does make me happy to know my blog can have a positive effect.

And I got this comment from Audrey:

yeah that looks great and all but what about ‘apple’ shapes?
the brown dress is adorable it would be tight and loose in all the wrong places if I wore it!

I honestly wish I could answer this, but considering I’m not an ‘apple’ shape it’s rather hard for me. I’m no Stacey or Clinton. Are there any other apples out there that have some advice?

I went to the beach last night (*sniff* last day of vacation!) and had a fat girl bikini photoshoot with my sister. Pictures will be posted in near future for all to gaze in awe at (or for trolls to shit themselves after seeing a fat chick in a bikini and looking rather happy). You guys know me, I’m such a vain fatty slutmuffin. whatevs.

I really want to “connect” with my blog readers more. I like it when the same people like to comment and eventually I remember “hey! They commented before!”. Sorry, my memory is god AWFUL. I remember by icons (or whatever) so when someone has a picture I remember them quicker. I just love it when I go to other blogs and I read comments and see how much of a group everyone is. Then I see how of a slacker I am and how I don’t participate much in comments. ever. I hate how I fail at comments. I don’t leave comments on other people’s blogs because I’m a wus, and I barely leave them on my own blog. I am made of LAME when it comes to that.

You know what I also hate? Fucking dashboard. I always feel like I suck when I see “Oh, I only have 200 people view my blog.. that one day I have NINE HUNDRED! I must really suck now!” I do the same thing on deviantart- judge my art/blog worthiness by the pageview and/or number of comments recieved. Ugh. That is crap, and I need to stop doing that.

Ugh.. Less than a month until I start college. *SCARED*

You know what? I took Calculus this year! If I can handle integration and differentiation, I CAN HANDLE THIS!!!

Well, I guess we’ll find out.

Oh yes, and The Pipettes are awesome. I just got their CD, and I can’t stop listening to it. That and the new issue of BUST, along with a book called “American Women” that is about historical women in America. Rockness.

Oh Torrid, I <3 you so~

here, here, and here

The first two were on clearance for $20 and $25, and the last was $34. 

Ugh, i seriously wish there was a Torrid closer to me. Torrid and Lane Bryant are the only places I can go to that I know will have my size and the clothes will actually be, yanno, cute. I need to find a shirt to go with the middle shorts, but I think I’ll find something eventually. Shopping in there really cheered me up at least. And my ass looks fine in those jean capri’s. woot. All the workers there were soo nice to me to!

In any case, it made the whole experience that was yesterday so much better. I just wish I had lots of money so I could go crazy shopping in Torrid. But I don’t. (my mom bought me the jean capri’s and skirt).. I also wish I would’ve known about the model thing, but I didn’t, so I didn’t have a picture. boo. I guess I could always mail one, but I don’t even know if I have a decent photo taken recently, or an 8 by 10 one for that matter.

Well, vacation is halfway over. I have a feeling that my posts won’t be all that incredible, as I am busy being a lazy ass. Staying up ’till 2 in the morning and sleeping in ’till 12, shopping everyday, going to the pool and the beach and swimming, having high speed internet access.. that’s the life. (Sadly, only 8 of my 100 dollars is left. boo.)

And, OMG- AVATAR!!!! This has been the greatest week of my Avatar-fan life! 2 Hour movie tomorrow… wooooot!!!!! I’m gonna throw myself an Avatar party! yay!!!!!!!!!!

I will now resume lazyness.

As of right now, this fat girl is on vacation!

You don’t think I would just leave ya’ll like that?

Okay, I AM on vacation, and I am setting this post to publish Saturday morning, at which time I will sleeping in the car beginning the 12 hour ride to South Carolina, where every year my family stays on Hilton Head Island for two weeks. (12 hours stuck in the car with your younger sister and mother is not the most fun in the world, but I survive.. I try to sleep half the way lol)

For the past few years I have had an “online presence” or whatever (not the blog, but deviantart), I am stuck without internet for two weeks. But, with luck, this year will be different! Now that I have my laptop I am taking it with me, as my Aunt mentioned that she thinks there is WiFi for the condo we stay at. I really hope this is the case. If it isn’t, well.. I’ll figure something out. But don’t expect any comments to be approved until Sunday maybe, and if there is nothing from me by Monday, I havn’t figured out how to get connected to the internet yet, or I am not able to.

As such, I have 2 new posts written up already, and I am debating what I want to do with them. I was going to post one tomorrow, but I could set to publish them during the two weeks I am away- though I can’t approve comments anyway so there wouldn’t be much of a point..

Anyway, I figured I would just make everyone aware of where I am at. Hopefully I’ll have some new pictures/adventures to blog about. I really hope I will have internet access, if for nothing else to be able to update this blog.

thanks for deleting my post. really.
you know, i wasn’t even saying anything against you or any other fat people, i was just coming from a different standpoint. i was being entirely objective, but i guess because i didn’t kiss your ass about it i got deleted.
are you always so goddamn preachy? THAT’S probably why you can’t hang with the “mean girls.” it’s not because you’re fat, it’s just because you always BITCH about being fat. sooner or later sweety you’re going to have to grow up.

look forward to seeing you on a commercial for montel

I have to say, by leaving this comment you really aren’t making me want to rush back approve your comment, honestly….

And for the record, I was on the fence about whether i wanted to approve your comment or not. (And how do you even know that I outright deleted it? Whose to say I just didn’t get to it, or missed it on my list? How would you have even known anyway?) Sadly, this line had me leaning toward the not,

but if you’re fat and you keep having to find ways to CONVINCE yourself that you’re happy, don’t be afraid to pick that salad back up. because even though we’re all gonna die in the end, it doesn’t mean you have to make due with with what you’ve got. after all, it’s not where you’re going, it’s how you get there. and you shouldn’t have to settle for coach.

This is motivational speaking at it’s best! You can change! And yes, because being fat is like settling for coach. Plus, you can always starve yourself with only eating salads to make yourself thin, because you think that will make you happier. Even though you don’t even like salad, you should eat it because it is better than a taco and will make you thin and happy. The one thing I hate about America is how most Americans are never happy with what they have. The American Dream is about how you can be better than before! What is wrong with how you are now? Why do people feel like they have to be better? Maybe the reason aren’t happy with what they’ve got is that they’ve been told that what they’ve got isn’t good enough and that they can have more!

(also, the whole ‘not capitolizing the first word of every sentence’ thing, tends to get on my nerves a lot. And the long run on paragraph. But maybe that’s just me)

Oh yes, the reason I did not accept your comment was because you didn’t kiss my ass enough. HOW DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT!! MY SECRET!!

And my god, I am SUCH a BITCHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look at me, being a woman and being a bitch! How horrific! I am soooo going to end up on Montel because I didn’t approve a comment on MY OWN BLOG.

Seriously, I was starting to get over the ‘make a post out of a troll’ thing. I was tempted to make a post of this person’s comment, but decided I would just let it go. And it felt so much better.

Can I just say (actually, I can, it’s my blog)… THAT THIS IS MY BLOG! Why do people have such a hard time accepting that? Look, the worlds not ending because I didn’t approve your comment. I don’t have to approve your comment. Again, I really don’t see how leaving the above comment would lead to me approving the original comment. Maybe if said person would’ve asked nicely or something, but just yelling at me and calling me insecure and a bitch for not approving your comment, really doesn’t make me feel like APPROVING YOUR COMMENT.

Ugh..