are beautiful.

Okay, I have just noticed that I havn’t made a post telling everyone about an amazing community on Livejournal! So I must now tell you of it’s amazingess.

The community I am talking about is CurvyGirls. It’s a group on livejournal that celebrates bodies of all sizes. Members post pictures of themselves, inspiring pictures of others, artwork, talk about body image in pop culture and TV, post song lyrics, and so much more.

From the CurvyGirls community profile:

 Our Purpose:
We are a body positive community, created to celebrate naturally curvy women. We are not here to put down those who are thicker than most, nor are we here to scoff at those who are naturally thin. We are here to encourage each other in the truth — that most women are naturally curvy, if they eat right and are moderately active. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and 90% of our shapes are curvy. Let’s stop fighting our body type and revel in our natural curviness.

We firmly believe that there is no such thing as an ideal size — curvy beauty can be a size 4 or a size 14 or a size 24. Each person is different, and a healthy curvy weight is different for each person’s unique structure. We are an ALL HEALTHY SIZES community — delighted to include plus, minus, and middle sizes.

Let me emphasize that this is NOT a rating community. If anyone takes it upon themselves to tell another person that they are too thin or too thick (or any other negative thing), I will ban them on the first offense. Here, we are all beautiful, and if you think otherwise, either work to change the way you think, or leave.

The Rules for the group:

1. Anything that isn’t curvy-positive is considered off-topic and must go behind a DESCRIPTIVE lj-cut. Be specific: write something like “off-topic: rant about sizism in the media” or “off-topic: books for building a healthy self-image.” Off topic posts have to at least be related to healthy curviness OR self-positivity, and the entire post needs to be under the cut. Intro posts also must include something about healthy curviness or positivity.

2. No posting weight or measurements — sizes are okay, but weight/measurement invites comparison, and comparison has no place here. This means NO pound numbers. (or kilos, etc.) And this especially includes weightloss/gain pound numbers, as they can be very triggering to those who are recovering from an ED. This also includes anything about BMI, which is an outdated and false measure of health. (additional articles)

3. No negative body talk — non-curvy-positive posts must not describe your form in a negative way. It’s okay for you to say ‘I’m having trouble loving (body part),’ but not to say, ‘my (body part) is disgusting/gross/etc’ or ‘I hate this specific curve’ or ‘my (body part) is too ____’ or ‘I wish my (body part) looked more _____.’ It is detrimental to your own body love and the body love of anyone who reads it for you to disparage yourself. This includes comments — do not say ‘I wish I had your (body part).’ And of COURSE, never say anything even slightly negative about another woman’s body, or about any body type.

4. Photoposts must be on-topic (focused on curves), must contain a majority of body shots, and must be non-sexual in nature. It’s okay if you post a close-up of your face, but the focus of the post must be your body. (exceptions are intro posts — we understand that you might not have any body shots yet) All posts are automatically locked, and you can unlock them UNLESS they contain a member photo. ‘Erotic’ type photos are not allowed (no matter how clothed or unclothed), because we want to keep the community a platonic celebration of beauty, not sexuality. There are many other communities for celebrating sexuality.

7. No posting about diets or exercise or vanity weightloss (including weight-loss products). There are other communities for that, but here that’s off-topic. We focus on loving ourselves exactly as we are. Health is wonderful, but losing/gaining weight for the sake of a look is not. Mentioning exercise is fine as long as it isn’t for the purpose of losing weight or changing the look of your body.

8. No posting photos (or links to photos, or using icons) of unhealthy or ‘enhanced’ women. That means no photos of anorexic, surgery-enhanced, obese to the point where it seriously inhibits health and mobility, or otherwise ‘unnatural’ bodies. (this includes all mainstream porn actresses and most major film stars) We understand that those women can be beautiful too, but we’re here to celebrate healthy, natural curviness.

9. No pro-eating disorder posts. Instant ban. Eating disorders, whether anorexia, bulimia, or overeating, are not healthy, and we do not want to encourage them. Stories of recovery, however, are very welcome.

10. No rating community ads. Other communities may contact me for permission to post an ad, and I’ll probably give it, but if it’s a rating community, forget it. (this includes just mentioning rating communities)
 

This group is what really made the difference in how I viewed myself and my body. The founder, Belenen, is amazingly awesome. She found me from my deviantart, when I had first started drawing curvy characters and she invited me to join in November of 06′. Looking back on my first post that i made, I really have changed a lot. I wasn’t as sure of myself and my views on my body weren’t as self assured as they are now.

But the comments that people left me were so inspiring.

Oh my freaking gosh..
You Are Gorgeous!!!

seriously
wow
and that kimono
very, very sweet
you have some wonderful curves, girl. 

—

You’re gorgeous. I’ve always wanted thick curly hair, so it’s totally not a strike against you.

—

You are a beautiful girl. Your eyes and curls are gorgeous and I think you have a lovely figure. The world is SO different after high school. Kudos to you for knowing who you are and seeing your own gifts. As a 36 mother of two, I’m impressed that you’ve figured this out so early. I’m still have to remind myself. Welcome.

—

you are gorgeous, and I understand a lot of where you’re coming from. I too grew up with the curly, often frizzy hair that I had to learn to love and with the skinny, gorgeous friends I loved to hate (well, not really, but you get what I’m saying). I didn’t date till I was 17 because no guy really showed any interest in me till then, but more and more these days I find that there are a lot of guys out there who find me attractive, not just for the person I am (because I’ve never had trouble with that) but also for my appearance (which is a big deal when you grow up with low self esteem). Granted, most of these guys have been 3 to 10 years older than me, but I think that means that they do kind of get it as they grow up. I wish I’d been where you are now when I was 16; keep up the great work and don’t lose faith!!

—

Hi! You remind me a lot of my younger self–I’m 20, and believe me, when you get to college it gets better. Self-confidence is the most attractive thing–I have never lacked for male attention since I starting acting like a beautiful girl would!
Especially after I cut my hair. I was afraid to do so for the longest time because “long hair makes my face thinner” right? But when I got it cut it made me feel really bold and proud of myself.
There are still guys who like curvy girls–you just have to find the right one for you.

—

Goodness, I adore your curly hair.

—

So pretty! And those outfits look amazing on you :]

Hearing those things was just what I needed to hear. I don’t like to think about what my thoughts on myself would be now without it.

(actually, I wouldn’t even have this blog without CurvyGirls. I actually found Shapely Prose because someone linked to it in a comment in a post at CurvyGirls. That and Junkfood Science. Which led me to the fatosphere and all these amazingly wonderful blogs.)

Another thing I feel I need to say. I don’t really know how to start this topic. I know some of my friends from school read my blog, and I don’t want them to think I am a freak here. At CurvyGirls a lot of people will post nude pictures or the like. I don’t want my friends to think I like to look at porn or something. That is NOT what they post. It reminds me of the adipositivity project or How to Look Good Naked. You see what real people look like. And it’s not like “YOU MUST POST NAKED PICTURES AND LOOK AT THEM!” it’s all about what people are comfortable with. I certainly havn’t posted any lol. And I don’t go searching online for pictures, I just visit CurvyGirls all the time, and i’ll check what posts I missed (and that isn’t all they post lol). I just think that seeing these real bodies helps me appreciate my own. Like, seeing beauty in someone else helps you to see it in yourself. And I think that is important. Plus, it helps detoxify you from all the airbrushed, photoshopped bodies you see all the time. It makes me feel normal and good about my body. It might sound hokey, but it’s true.

I hope that makes sense.

Maybe I just feel weird talking about things like nudity and other stuff because, honestly, I would never mention it in real life. Heck, in real life I tend to stray away from talking about fat stuff, just because no one I know either cares or wants to hear it or gets it. Or maybe just because I don’t talk about it they don’t know I’m all for it. I don’t know. Maybe it will just take some time for it to transfer to my real life and that I won’t give a shit what people think when I talk about stuff. I shouldn’t, I don’t here, but in real life I’m not there yet.

Well, anyway. They are a private community, it’s not like any random person can come buy and be all “look! naked chic! score!” or whatever. There are some public entries, but the majority are locked and private. If you click on that link above (and here!) you can still see their public entries.

It’s a nice change of pace to any blogs on the fatosphere because there is little – if any- political fat to it. Actually, I’m not sure if users use the word “fat” to describe themselves. It’s just a very positive place and so encouraging. If you are having a crap day about your body, go there. And it’s really nice because it doesn’t matter what body type you are, it’s pretty much for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you have a “healthy lifestyle”, it’s a nonfactor. It’s all about loving yourself the way you are. They aren’t going to look at a picture of you and say “your beautiful! but you should work on on being more healthy!” or whatever. There are all types of women there, all ages, shapes, colors, and whatnot. So, if there are any teenagers who like to read my blog, there are definitely teens there too. There are also many inspiring posts from people recovering from EDs.

I just felt I needed to give it a shoutout- it deserves it for how much help it has given me. I would definitely recommend everyone to join.

If you would like to join, here is the page that tells you how.

*EDIT* I just noticed, after looking at the public entries on CurvyGirls, that today is International Women’s Day.

*EDIT 2* I forgot to mention, Juno is just about the greatest movie ever!

New Years was this week, and I wanted to share what my resolution was from last year (though I actually made the resolution in March rather than January lol ^^; )… But my resolution from last year was not to diet and lose weight and blah blah, but I decided that I was going to do something different. I decided that my resolution was to buy a bikini at the weight I am now, rather than try to lose weight so “i would look good” in a bikini, because obviously fat girls can’t wear them.

Well you know what? I showed them! I did buy that bikini, I actually bought two! I wore them to the pool, and when we went on vacation, and I ROCKED em!

And here is my proof to you all! (This is old stuff to my Deviant watchers, but enjoy nontheless).

ahh! Fear the obese fat girl!! (yes, I am considered obese.. zomg i’m so fat and short!!)

I’m a little more nervous posting these pictures here than on Deviantart, because this environment seems more open.

If any asshole leaves a negative comment, I will delete it without hesitation.

Bottom line? Stop trying to change your bodies to live life, just go live it. If you want to rock a bikini, don’t wait till you’re thin, rock it now!

Sorry my last post was so long (sorry guys, i did notice it was quite lengthy, next time I’ll try to split it up a bit more or something), but this one is much shorter. (I have to also mention I am feeling quite starstruck after having recieved comments from fillyjonk of Shapely Prose Thank you so much!)

…… (back to post lol)

So it was my mom’s turn to pick out a movie for Netflix, and she wanted to see “Elizabeth” (She also wants to see the one that just came out in October too, but guess she’ll have to wait for that). I was actually interested, so I decided to watch it (Having the same first name makes me interested- not to mention how she was a woman who ruled England.)

I really enjoyed the movie. I have always been a fan of historically based movies (even if they aren’t always accurate, i still enjoy them). This was definitely a good movie, very inspiring, very feminist.

“I am not your Elizabeth. I am no man’s Elizabeth. And if you think to rule here, you are mistaken. “

Love that line. There were a bunch of other lines that I thought were excellant as well, but I couldn’t find them on any quote pages for the movie online.

I just got my hair cut on Wednesday, and I have been feeling pretty low in the self-esteem department since. It’s not as though my hair was really long to beging with, it hasn’t been long since I was 8. It’s weird, it was as though I just felt that this time it was too short, I look awful, girls should have long hair, short hair is bad and not feminie. It was really weird how i felt. My hair was only cut slightly shorter, but it felt as though it was so much more. I’ve even had my hair much shorter than it is now, but i felt all these negative thoughts coming back from a few years ago.

It kinda reminds me of how people will congratulate you when you lose weight, and it’s like “wasn’t I fine before?” kinda thing… At the begining of this year my hair wasn’t super long, shoulder length-ish, but everyone was all “your hair looks so nice now that it’s long” and stuff, and now I just feel like “oh Liz, you are so stupid! Getting your hair cut short AGIAN, it will never ever grow back and you look horrible blahblahblah”..

But anyway (I swear this is relevant to the movie), watching this movie really helped me accept my new hair cut. When i saw the scene near the end (sorry to spoil) when she cuts off all her hair, I felt really proud of my short hair. I think my mother said something that women didn’t cut their hair back then or something, and it just made me feel proud. I can cut my hair short! woo! It doesn’t have to be long, just like I don’t have to be anything other than what I want to be. I don’t need to have long flowing locks of hair to be beautiful. I shouldn’t feel the need to have my hair long just to make myself appealing to random men I don’t even know, why should I care wether they like my hair or not? So long as I like it, then it’s fine. I don’t need to look like Barbie to be beautiful. I just have to be me. Elizabeth didn’t tolerate male assholes, she ruled the way she wanted and demanded respect. Not to mention the fact that she never did marry any man, she was independant (personally, i would like to find a loving husband someday, but i would never marry someone who did not treat me equally- I wish I could be independent though, I don’t know if I could be that strong).

Seriously, Elizabeth just kicked ass, plain and simple.

Firstly – EARLY DISMISSAL FROM SCHOOL!! YAY!!!! *discodancetime!*

….

Okay, now that i have that off of my chest lol.

I was talking to my best friend Emily, and we started talking about Jane Eyre (which we had to read over the summer for AP English 12). I absolutely LOVED that book! Jane Eyre is definitely a great role model for young girls and women. She is not ‘beautiful’ so she actually uses her brain in life. She is smart, independant, and follows her moral values, plus she won’t let anyone take away her happiness in life. She also doesn’t do things just because society deems it so. She trusts herself. Seriously, if you havn’t read Jane Eyre, read it now! (it’s probably one of the few books i’ve been forced to read for school that I actually liked).

So, she said:

“lol. you should blog about role models. make a top five list of bad ones, and a top five list of good ones. lol.”

She knows I have a blog so she suggested this. I thought that was a great idea. So, I am going to blog about my top 5 good role models and worst 5. I’m using characters from books, movies, celebrities, etc.- people/characters who are probably well known (or should be).

My top 5 would be:

1. Tracy Turnblad ([movie] Hairspray)
2. Jane Eyre ([book] Jane Eyre)
3. Betty Suarez ([TV Show] Ugly Betty)
4. Gemma Doyle ([book] A Great and Terrible Beauty)
5. Mulan ([movie] Mulan)

And my bottom 5 would be:

1. Lindsay Lohan
2. Brittany Spears
3. Nicole Richie
4. Paris Hilton
5. Janise Dickinson

Mine arn’t in any particular order (except maybe the number 1’s, since they are NUMBA ONE! XD lol).

During this process it took me a long time to pick my top 5 good role models. It was hard. I had to really think through books and movies and TV shows that have good role models. Sadly, the 5 bad role models took me about 5 seconds (probably took 4 seconds just to type). It also makes me laugh how they are all celebrities, who are the people that most look up too. Not to mention they are the ones who publicly ‘represent’ women. Blahblahblah… I just get sick of hearing about all the crap they do. These people need help. I know that there are some good celebrity role models, but it seems the bad ones are all you hear about.

So i guess i’ll go through my reason for picking the positives (i think my reasons for the negative 5 are kinda obvious). You already know why Jane is on the list. As for the others, Tracy Turnblad just rules, seriously! I LOVE hairspray, it is definitely one of my top movies. It is so uplifting and empowering for everyone-whatever size, age, gender, race, etc. Tracy follows her dreams no matter what others think of her. As for Betty, she never apologizes for herself. She stands up for what she believes in and is there for her family (though she is acting stupid about this Henry business…) and such. I know some people don’t like Ugly Betty, but i do- i love it. None of the characters (whether you hate them or love them) apologize for who they are. It’s just kind of refreshing to see (though maybe i’m just weird and am reading into this too much lol). Or maybe I am just a total Pro-Betty person. Whatever, this is what i think.

As for Gemma Doyle, she seems like a feminist kinda character, stands up for herself (though i read the book a few months ago and don’t remember the details very well… I’ll reread it soon, since the third book is coming out before christmas), is independant, etc. I also love the interview with the author at the end, it’s def. worth a read (made me appreciate/love the books/author even more- she is totally awesome!). As for Mulan, she went to war to save her fathers life. She knew because she is a woman she could be killed. She totally was like “screw this stupid arranged marriage thing” (well, kinda lol.. not so much, but that’s basically it). She fought for what she believes in and fucking saves China! (and i am basing this off of the disney movie lol…)

I also have Emily’s top and bottom 5 (with her explanations):

1. Hermione Granger – This little genius from Harry Potter is actually more than just a smarty-pants. She’s brave, she’s compassionate (about house elves at least… SPEW), and she doesn’t give up (remember when they were having a hard time with the polyjuice potion?).
2. Jennifer Lopez – I know Jennifer doesn’t seem like an obvious choice for a list like this, but think about it a little. Have you ever heard anything truly bad about her? The facts are, she financed her own dancing school from the age of 18, when she had to leave home because her mother would no longer support her career choice. For a while, she worked in a law office and took night dance classes at the same time. Now she’s starred in movies, had hit songs, has her own clothing line, is happily married, and expecting twins.
3. June Carter Cash – This woman’s strength is absolutely amazing to me. Although their relationship may appear to be on and off, she stuck by Johnny Cash through some of the roughest times in his life. He’s credited her with saving him.
4. Addison Montgomery (Grey’s Anatomy) – Alright, she slept with her husband’s best friend, but she moved on. She’s, in the words of my favorite English teacher, “strong and smart.” She didn’t let one mistake ruin her life.
5. Lucille Ball – Accomplishments too many to list… She starred in the hit show I Love Lucy, and even kept it going when her marriage was crumbling. She was also, I believe, the first woman to own her own film studio. Fun fact (not so fun for Lucy…): She had to learn to walk again after suffering from rheumatoid arthritis early in her modeling career, and it took her two years

Number one worst role model: Brittney Spears – What  happened to my old childhood favorite singer? She’s got two children out of wedlock with no plans of staying with their father. She recently shaved her head in a moment (or is it an eternity?) of insanity. She drove with one son on her lap to “protect him” (does this seem strange to anyone else?). HELLO?! Wouldn’t it be safer to have him in a carseat so that she could focus on driving around the paparazzi? I guess that’s how it is in Brittney-Land.
I didn’t even mention the skanky clothes she’s worn in public lately..

Hermione was actually one of the characters I was going to use for postive 5 but then i changed my mind.

So who are your top and bottom 5? Feel free to say why or why not. And if anyone disagrees with Emily, or myself, on good/bad choices, feel free to say so, just don’t get all “You are SOO wrong, she is a HORRIBLE ROLE MODEL blahblahblah”.. Just don’t be a jerk about it, because i don’t mind if you disagree with me (heck you don’t even need to explain to my why you disagree), just if you do feel the need to tell me why you don’t agree with me, please do so in a nice manner

(PS- all the image i used on this post of found with Google Images)

(PSS- Mucho Thanks to Emily for inspiring this blog entry, and for contributing her awesome thoughts. Em, you should totally guest blog sometime!)