Diary of a Fat Teenager

(I totally stole this from Kateharding.net. I don’t think i could’ve done any better) 

My house, my rules.

Longer version? So glad you asked.

First rule: There are no rules. There are patterns that will be identifiable to anyone who pays attention, but they aren’t set in stone. And if I make a list of shit that will get you deleted and/or banned, I can be certain that some ill-natured and vexatious person will come along, piss me off for some reason not on the list, get deleted and/or banned, and then whine, “But I abided by the comments policy!” I’m not even dealing with that, y’all.

Second rule: Good-natured and delightful people don’t have to ignore the trolls; you’re more than welcome to tell them to get bent, question their logic, trump them with your brilliance, and make fun of their spelling. I will be doing the same when I don’t choose to delete and ban the little fuckers. Only caveat is, if I do choose to delete them at some point, I might delete your comments, too, just because one half of the conversation won’t make sense on its own.

Third rule: Know that if you make a hateful, pointless comment, I might very well turn it into a new post. If all you have to say is that fat people are lazy and disgusting and unhealthy and deluded and blah dee friggin’ blah, your chances of shaming me are very, very low. Your chances of becoming the subject of group ridicule, however, are very, very high.

Fourth rule: If you even fucking mention “free speech” with regard to my comments policy, you will be banned. I am not a representative of the government; when I tell you, directly or indirectly, to shut up, it does not in any way violate your Constitutional rights. If you want to speak freely, the fine folks at WordPress will be happy to provide you with the exact same kind of platform I use. But if you want to play in my sandbox, you need to not piss me off.

Fifth rule: Polite disagreement doesn’t piss me off. Bullying does. And bullies are inevitably the only ones who don’t get that distinction, so I don’t think I need to say any more about that.

Sixth rule: There will be no promotion of deliberate weight loss or talk about how awesome your diet is. This is a fat acceptance blog.

Seventh rule: I really don’t give a rat’s ass if you don’t understand why your comment was deleted, your account was banned, I was nasty to you, or other commenters were nasty to you and I didn’t tell them to back off. The answer is, you were judged by the sole authority around here to be a troublemaking douchehound. No, really, that’s the whole answer and the only answer.

Eighth rule: If you’re really worried because you don’t have any specific guidelines for not getting banned, try this: be good-natured and delightful. Clever and funny also go a long way with me. If you can’t be any of those things, be coherent, reasonable, and respectful. You’ll be fine.

Ninth rule: Be aware that if you posted a coherent, reasonable, and respectful comment and it didn’t show up, you probably got trapped in the spam filter, which I can’t control. I do, however, check it once a day and release the coherent, reasonable, and respectful comments. So either relax and wait for that to happen or e-mail me (sometimes, when spam volume is high, I don’t even see the good comments), but either way, know that if you behaved like a decent human being, I didn’t delete you on purpose.

Tenth rule: All of the above rules are subject to change at my discretion.

Happy commenting